Blog again.

So Im back again, its been a week of not really being online. I had family here visiting from Minnesota. It was a very pleasant visit. We kept quite busy... shopping. I spent way too much money but my family has clothes, so I don't regret it yet.

Im still clicking around, trying to get "settled" in to this blog. Established.

Tonight we had Kindermusik, I brought both of the girls with me. It was nice. Andrew had some quiet time at home to himself. That rarely happens, so hopefully he enjoyed it. A storm is headed this way. Suppose to be quite ugly, with 60mph winds tonight and tomorrow. Im looking forward to it actually, I just don't want it to be too dangerous. I have old trees around here. I dont want limbs blowing every which way, and I'd like to keep my electricity too!!

Anyhow,
The girls are doing great. Like always Im amazed how big they are, theyre starting to actually play well together. Carolina is still in to all of Taylor's things, but is more interactive.

I feel like a hormonal loony tonight. I probably am.

I guess I should just face reality and say, "yes. I am"

Im in a bit of a "dont bother me" funk. Everything is annoying. People are annoying.  My phone rings way to much, people text me for stupid reasons.

I missed last weeks LLL meeting. I wanted to go really bad. It would be my first ever.
I read tonight on facebook that the LLL leader in our area is going to be speaking, or facilitating a meeting at our local cloth diaper store.

The cloth diaper store is new. I bought my ergo there 2 weeks ago. It was my first time going in there. I kind of got rubbed the wrong way in the beginning. Over some photo stuff... so I remained on the outside, and it seems every little portal I want to plug into is getting all tied up with the store, with the owner of the store... and today that bothers me.

I don't know why. I just want to be a part of it. I want to belong to something. To have that "network" of moms that I just don't have. I want to go to League. I want to get involved. I would love to someday be a leader or a lactation consultant or something. I think I might look into that. I always knew I would nurse, but I never knew how deeply impacted I would be by it, or how crazily "obsessed" I would be.

I want to be friends with all of these women, I want to go to these things... and I will.

It was my intent to go to the League meeting, I just had family here and it didn't work out. I need to get over my issues.

When the owner of the diaper store opened her business, she emailed me about using a picture I posted on her "fan page" she wanted it on her website.... just wanted me to give it to her. It was of my children. Like here you go. Heres my photography, heres my kids.....  (once again it hurt my whole photography spirit) Like made me feel like.... just nothing. Like the phony with the $1200 camera as mentioned on the previous post.

Then after that I kind of replied that I was flattered.... but that I was uncomfortable. I offered to take some pictures FOR her business, design her some ads, whatever... for hire of course. That was a no go. But in the middle of our emails she posted an event for her business, and used my picture as the picture for the event. But I guess since I decided to SHARE it with her by putting it on her fan page, I gave her permission to use. After that.... I just kind of felt uneasy....

And I don't jump on all of her sales, her activities, her classes, her community events.... and everyone else does.....