The Photog bit.

Okay.

So heres the deal. I run a small photography business. Its one I'm in love with.

http://www.leighajane.com/

I havent started a blog for it yet, maybe I will soon.
I have a facebook fan page. Search Leigha Jane Photography if you'd like.

Im on my 3rd camera since I started 5 years ago. Im in love. Ive learned so much, grown so much and gotten better and better, with years of practice of course.

I love my website, I put alot of time and effort into it because I feel like my web presence is probably the most important tool. I havent printed business cards, I havent handed them out, I havent advertised in any way. When I meet people and they ask what I do, Im a stay at home mom. (because I am) I never want to boast or be like "look at me" ever. I love business when it comes to me. But thats it. When it comes to me.

Every year, summer it seems, I get calls from random people. Friends of friends, of cousins who've heard. Just word of mouth. Its the only thing that powers my business. And Im good with that. I dont charge a session fee. I probably should....

But theres underlying reasons to all of this. I love what I do, the photography bit started because of my kids, because really I'm about my kids, so photography falls after everything else. My business is not my priority, so I dont push it, for time reasons, and because Im too busy being a mom and wife than trying to set up displays and push myself.

A huge issue I have is that everyone and their brother is a "photographer"

The store front studio is a dying breed. No one does that. No one wants that. Everything is so "lifestyle" photography right now... and anyone can pick up a digital camera and do it. Find some cheap photoediting software and its a done deal. Picnik can make about anything look good! Everyone starts up little facebook fan pages for their little home businesses. Everyone has the same story. "to capture those little moments" to "create timeless images for you to always remember" Everyone was inspired by their children, their children drove them to their newfound passion for photography. Its the same. Seriously. Every "about me" thats all I ever see.

A few weeks ago a person on facebook posted a status update that they were sick of every person out there who owns a $1200 camera claiming to be a photographer, and calling themselves photographers was bad because it tainted the name for ReAL photographers. Another "photographer person" commented something like, "well said!" or "amen" I cant remember, it was just like praising the status.

I read it and agreed. Because its true to an extent. Some stuff you can just look at and its like "wow. Do people pay you?" and others is amazing. You cant quite put words on it, but you definitely know it when you see it.

Anyhow. After agreeing in my mind... I thought maybe this was me? Maybe they were referring to people like me? So I commented something like; "this hurts my feelings. Who are you referring to?" and guess what. No response. Ever. I was the last comment on that status and life went on. I clicked my own photography fan page and noticed that person was not my fan, and neither was anyone else from that "circle."

 I read the other persons comment, and though they too have a "business" Im not crazy about that persons work. I look at some of the stuff, and its not something I would do... but I try not to judge. Try not to say its "bad" because it belongs to that person. Its their view, their take, their stuff. We're not all the same. And I do things differently and thats okay.


I was hurt. I was mad. But it really made me think. Alot.

I told my husband.

It was so stupid. Like fans on my facebook page, is that really what important to me? Am I going to be that upset, angry and hurt over people not liking my page? How stupid is that? So stupid.

I know for CERTAIN when I finally had the COURAGE to start my fan page which was just this spring, I sent a "suggest page" request to the other photog. I was a fan of their page, thought it would be cool to invite them to my page, we could be friends, blah blah.

Even that person wasnt a fan. Which means the page suggestion was declined.

The whole group of people is fans of THAT page.

And why?

Why that one and not mine?

Now that Im so pissed off about it I can bodly say I think my stuff is ALOT better.

I got rid of the other photog as a friend and de-fanned the fan page. Because Im a child and thats just what my emotions led me to do.

But Im just the girl who says "Im a photographer," but really Im a phony with a "$1200" camera.

I dont want to be that girl. I dont want to be the one whose work get looked at that way.

Which is why I dont often say those words. "Im a photographer." I say, my name is Leigha. Im a stay at home mom, I run a small photography business on the side.

When it comes to my photography I do have a low self esteem. I love what I do, I do it for myself, and for the people who call on me asking me to do it for them, but I dont pUsH myself out there, because I dont want to be the chick with a $1200 camera whose out there faking it.

And my images are seriously ME. Like I POUR myself into them. I cant put them out there for ridicule because I am so deeply attached to them, that it hurts me. It hurts my spiritual being.

I do it more for myself than I do for the money. I do.

Taking pictures for someone and having them LOVE them is more a "feather in my hat" than it is money. My website says nothing about cds. I only sell prints, but you know... most every client Ive ever had gets a cd. They cant afford to buy all of them, and I cant stand a mother not having ALL of the pictures of the child. So after the place a sizeable order, I crack and give the cd. Its just who I am.

But I often feel like the girl who thinks shes great whose work really sucks. Or who really is just the same as everyone else.